Thứ Sáu, 4 tháng 7, 2014

Priceless Gifts.....Would You Do This?

Priceless Gifts.....Would You Do This?

The approach of the holidays usually brings out the angst in all of us.  
There's the "shopping list" of things to buy......the decision of who,  
what, and where will the celebration be with (or in some cases, without).  The budget......that can be a mountain sometimes that we dread to climb.  However, there are some gifts, that can be considered priceless, and yet cost us personally, very little monetarily.......other than the giving of our time.

There are so many people hurting in the world.  I read about so many tragedies and wonder, what's happening to
people......why are we seemingly so cruel and unfeeling.  And, of course, the bigger the disaster, the more "news worthy" it seems to become.  But, if you look around your own area, you'll find people hurting, and sad, and worried, and they're not on the news, or being written about....they just exist in their own world without others really noticing.

It's true.....you can't stop the madness in the world, but you can make a difference in the world.  It's one small gesture of kindness, a word of
encouragement, an unexpected offering that can sometimes make your part of the world just a little brighter......a little happier.  It doesn't always take money....just a little of our time and thought to do this.  And, what we put into the world generally is what comes back to us.  More importantly, doing something kind for someone else helps us each to realize how blessed we are and that is priceless.

I was thinking about this, and what would be ways any of us could make the world a little happier......these are some of my ideas, and I hope you'll choose at least one during the holidays:

1.  Visit someone in a nursing home.  The elderly in nursing homes are generally the forgotten ones.  You'd be shocked to find how many of them have no family, or have family that doesn't take the time to visit with them.  They sit, or lie, in these places day after day, just waiting......and, the touch and kindness of anyone means everything to them.  Find a nursing home in your area, and call to see if you can visit people there.  Better yet, get your children involved......when kids visit the elderly, you'll see
their faces light up at the mere presence of your child.  This is also a fabulous way to teach your children to "see" beyond their own world, develop compassion and understanding, and that to give a tiny little bit of their time to someone who has so little is truly priceless.

2.  Meals On Wheels.  One year I volunteered my daughters and I to be Meals On Wheels substitute deliverers on Thanksgiving Day, so the regular drivers could have a day off with their families.  This was one heck of an adventure let
me tell you!  We were given I think 8 deliveries to make, with addresses and names (and no map and no GPS!).  We took off with the food, and ended up spending a better part of half the day trying to find the people who were waiting for this food.  Talk about an eye opener!  We drove to places I had no idea existed.......saw elderly people living in conditions we couldn't even imagine.......but at the end of our deliveries, knew that we had done something we'd never forget.  During that day too, I think my relationship with my daughters became a closer bond with each other too.

3.  Angel Trees.  Many businesses and virtually all churches have an Angel Tree that they sponsor each year.  You'll find paper ornaments on them with the first
name and age of a child that will have no present under their tree without the goodness of others helping.  This is another awesome learning lesson to involve your children in.  If they're old enough, let them choose the child, and then let them choose the gift, and make sure they're the ones who help you take it back to the location.  It gives your child a sense of empowerment that they've done something good for someone they'll never meet, and it opens a world of discussions about how blessed they are, rather than focusing on what latest gadget they don't have is.  Most importantly.....somewhere on Christmas morning, a child will open that present and you'll have made their day.  That's worth a million bucks alone!

4.  People In Your Neighborhood.  If you look around 
the area you live, I'll bet you'll find at least one house that has an occupant no one ever visits.  Of course common sense rules here, but if it's someone who
maybe has no family, or is incapacitated and can't get out, they would be the ideal candidate for a gift from you.  If you have kids, why not bake some cookies, or muffins, package them in a holiday tin, and go knock on the door.  Your surprise visit would probably mean the world to this person.  Just the fact that someone like you would have given them a few minutes of your time can be a priceless gift.

5.  Feeding the Homeless.  I think just about any town has a homeless shelter these days.  These are wonderful places the whole family can get involved with.  They need volunteers to help with all sorts of things.  


The point is.........if you're reading this, even it's not your own computer......you are blessed.  You have something to give to others who are less fortunate than you.  We tend too often to get focused on what we
don't have, rather than what we do.........we tend to want more and more, rather than being content with what we do have........so this holiday season how about focusing on others.......be that candle in the dark.......be that "spirit of giving" that is missing in so many parts of the world.  In doing so, your life becomes a priceless gift TO the world, and your family has just made a priceless memory that will last forever.

Nobody Likes Me. Everybody Hates Me......I guess I'll go eat worms.

I think just about everyone loves the ideas of the Winter holidays.........at least from a distance.  We typically associate Thanksgiving with the family around the table, eating food we don't normally get to eat.......and of course Christmas, with the giving of presents we normally wouldn't buy for ourselves.  That's all well and fine if you live a fairy tale life, but the reality is, many many families start out with the best intentions, and then find themselves fractured and broken, just trying to put on that "happy face" for the rest of the world, when we really feel like we're going to whither away in a corner somewhere.

Families find themselves coping with death, divorce, fractured relationships, loss of income, illness, broken dreams and promises........it runs the gamut of emotions, and I dare to say, no one is immune.  So, as the holidays creep closer
and closer, many people tend to feel the pressure to "fix" what's broken or not there, or find themselves sinking deeper into the sadness they long to avoid.  No doubt we've all had the friend that tried to mask the sadness by inviting unhealthy relationships into their lives, or using "retail therapy" to take away the pain, if for only but a moment.  What typically happens is the unhealthy relationship just becomes another "rock on the pile of hurt", and the momentary gratification of buying things, only adds to the realization of sadness when you get it home.

Rather than trying to mask those feelings, or cope on your own, find ways to deal with them in a healthy manner.  There are support groups to be found everywhere, as well as mental health counselors.  That being said, not every support group or counselor will prove to be the right fit for everyone, so it's a kind of trial and error thing until you find the right one.  If that doesn't suit your life, then it's a matter of focusing on what you DO HAVE, versus what you DO NOT HAVE!

Easier said than done.......that I know all too well!  It's human nature for the most part to only see the proverbial mountain before us, rather than the step we need to take to get over it.  This dawned on me
many years ago when I was going through a divorce and had no idea how I was going to raise my two daughters as a single parent.  Everything looked too big to handle.......everything was terrifying......my world was literally blown apart.  Then one day it dawned on me that I was only one person, who could only do so much in any one given day, and beyond that, if it wasn't critical, it would have to wait.  The amazing thing is that once I adopted that attitude, I wasn't focused on how much I could accomplish, and it freed me to relax--finding I typically accomplished more than I planned on for that day.

The holidays are still difficult. I grew up in the "Leave It To Beaver" days of Harriet and Ozzie, and that perfect family.  Ever time they faced a crisis, it always had a happy ending......I grew up thinking that's how life was, and that that's what my adult life would be like--it's been anything but that! When I start to feel the regrets or sadness of what's not there creeping in, I've learned to look around and be thankful for what is........to be thankful for two beautiful amazing daughters........to be thankful for three incredible grandchildren.......to be thankful for the negative experiences that have taught me so much.  And, no, it's not easy to do....you just get better at it the more you try!  There is no magic formula......it's an act of your will.


Although when you're in the midst of a crisis, people always want to tell you it's really a "blessing in disguise" (let's be honest here....at that point I think we all want to backhand those people!), you really just have to get through it.  Remember--things will calm down.........things will take on a new normal.......and then it's up to you whether you let it become the looming mountain of negativity, or a lesson that taught you just how strong and resilient you can be.

So for the upcoming holidays.......if you're one of those that dreads this time of year, try some new things and see just how amazingly strong and blessed you are!  Ideas......
  • Don't allow yourself to relive the negatives that have happened in your life.
  • Forgive yourself--you are allowed to be happy no matter what has happened.
  • Visit the elderly in a nursing home.
  • Volunteer at  your church, or any non-profit group helping those less fortunate.
  • Take an account of what is good in your life each day (that can literally be anything!).
  • Give an anonymous gift to someone who would never expect it from you.
  • Call a friend you haven't talked to in forever. 
  • Invite someone over for a movie and pizza--be the one to take the initiative even when you don't feel like it!  You never know what others are going through at the same time!
And remember that by living in the present, and enjoying the positives now, you are not just pretending your pain, anger and fear don't exist.....you are just making room for some positive experiences to be in your life too, and allowing the healing to begin and blossom.